On a good day, I hardly give it a second thought, but sometimes it eats at me, and yesterday it finally broke me. In the midst of what was actually an extremely pleasant day, we had a minor setback at Walmart. Yes, Walmart…imagine that. I think someone’s cast a spell on all big box stores, surrounding them with an evil orb that once entered turns your children into mini demons who want EVERYTHING and can no longer HEAR their parents.
But I digress. Yesterday, my mini demons were actually less impish than usual at Walmart, but that walk from the back of the store where we entered after dropping off the minivan for an oil change to the front of the store to get a cart before starting our shopping nearly did me in. You see, the automotive section of Walmart is strategically placed right next to the toys, and my little sprites just couldn’t resist the bright colors and magical sounds of ALL THOSE TOYS. They both wriggled free of my grasp and ran in opposite directions. I chased Maddy down one aisle while Julia shrieked down another. All three of us finally crossed paths at the end of an aisle, and as I tried to pick Maddy up only to have her transform into what seemed like a greased pig, I noticed a lovely elderly woman giving me THE LOOK.
As I watched her glaring at me, her inner monologue became almost deafening when she realized that nope, there’s no big honkin’ diamond on my hand. “Look at that woman who can’t control her children. Well, it’s no wonder – not married, and two small children to boot. And they’re not even very far apart in age! How could she possibly teach her children any self-control when she’s obviously living in sin!”
I wanted to yell at her, “Hey, lady, I am too married!!!” My cheeks turned bright red and as I became increasingly flustered, my mini-fiends finally decided to cooperate with me. I guess they sensed that Mommy was at her limit…or maybe the LOOK the woman was giving me wasn’t derogatory at all, but instead she was praying that God would intercede and provide me and the girls some relief and move us calmly away from the evil toy section. Either way, we were able to proceed to the front of the store, grab a cart, and finish our shopping trip without incident. AMEN!
Yes, I realize that paranoia got the best of me and it’s extremely unlikely that the elderly woman was casting such awful thoughts my way, but that experience has been with me since yesterday morning, causing the wheels to turn. After chewing on it, I realize it’s time. Time to say goodbye to the baby fat…because after all, Maddy’s not really a baby anymore so I don’t think we can really call it baby fat now. Nope, it’s just plain fat – and it needs to go away so that I can wear my beautiful wedding and engagement rings again for the first time in over two years and everyone can know when I’m out and about with my two beautiful daughters that all is right with our world!
Kirk, will you marry me again? I can’t wait for you to slide those rings on my finger!
