"I Wonder" Wednesdays

When I look back to where I was a year ago, it’s hard for me to believe that I’ve arrived here, feeling grounded, hopeful, excited about the future, and grateful for the many opportunities that I encounter every day in my life. A year ago, I was working for a non-profit healthcare and patient advocacy association, and my world seemed very small. Small because of long work days – I often left the house before the girls woke up and arrived home just in time to tuck them into bed. Small because of an anxiety-inducing work environment – too much to do, not enough time or people to do them, and seemingly extraordinarily high stakes. Small because of a lack of a solid support system – being near family and friends with whom you can laugh and enjoy the good times and on whom you can lean when times are tough is key, people! And small because of the nagging voice inside my heart that kept telling me just “getting by” couldn’t be further from actually living life, and that as long as I was just “getting by,” I was headed in the opposite direction of where I needed to be.

I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say eventually the nagging voice got the better of me. Emotions ran high, and several tears and panic attacks later, Kirk and I decided to do the hard work and make some difficult changes so that we could reach our full potential – as individuals, as a couple, and as a FAMILY. So today, I find myself wondering – awestricken, really – at the way God has blessed me with the opportunity to find my way back to my husband, back to my family, back “home” and back to Him so that Kirk and I can begin to write our story our way.

Maddy and Julia enjoying "Movie Night"
(f/4, 1/30 sec, ISO 3200, then used the Pioneer Woman Vintage action)

Tonight’s chapter was a good one. Everyone was happy through dinner, and Maddy even asked for seconds of everything on her plate – fried fish filets, peas and beets. (Growth spurt, I’ll betcha!) Then we popped some popcorn, dimmed the lights, turned our living room into a “movie theater,” and settled in together to watch Care Bears. Maddy and Julia sat side by side, engrossed in the Care Bears’ latest adventure, munching on popcorn and Skittles, each of them enjoying the company of their very best friend. I pray, my sweet, beautiful girls, that you remain best friends for all your lives.

Tonight I’m counting my blessings (big, small and in-between), and my blessings are truly a wonder!